From all the Top Boy episodes we have seen, we have learnt a few tricks on how to stay gangster like Dushane and Sully, but you cannot be giving that vibe with a romantic soundtrack.
You cannot be Anini and be listening to “Who’s Your Guy”.
Anyway, as an idan (Yórùbá word for somebody with a strong head. That’s the best translation we can offer), here are some songs to help you stay away from love and distracting emotions while on your gangster journey.
Mine Alone – Show Dem Camp, Oxlade
Don’t go near this song if you’re trying to stay on guard. This song will have you wishing you were the one they fell in love with. And it’s worse if nobody is currently loving you. This song is sweet like honey and is insanely addictive. Don’t listen to it before you find yourself falling in love with the nearest Igbo man.
Ego – Djinee
Here, the artist testifies very passionately about just how much the blinding joy of loving someone supersedes the pain of having lost them. They’re sha not talking to you my dear, you better not try it. Idan does not love, neither does an idan lose. Try to avoid songs like this before they teach you mature nonsense like letting go of something you love because it is simply time. Stay on top, and stay cold.
Out of Love – Chike
Please avoid this one if they recently broke up with you, you won’t take it well. This song personifies the pain of hearing your lover look you in the eye and tell you that the things they once felt are no longer there. It’s a heart wrenching ballad about loss and how confusing it can be. Don’t lose guard with this song in particular if you’re trying to stay cold and toxic because you will surely disgrace yourself.
Ololufe – Wande Coal
Some of us were in our teens, and in secondary school when we first heard this song after lights out. We obviously cried as we heard it because this song contained the words we secretly wished Charles Nwanchukwu would say to us one day; stupid boy. Needless to say, please stay the hell away from Wande Coal and his falsetto vocals, he will finish you.
No Away – Becca, MI
Last but not least, you can’t listen to Nigerian M.I and Ghanaian Becca doing interracial love and hope to stay the same. This duet will finish you. As an idan, you should already know that though strong we may be, we are not immune to love. Practice avoidance today and spare yourself any potential feelings. Don’t lose guard, don’t disgrace us.
All jokes aside, some people actually routinely avoid listening to songs such as those listed above in order to prevent feeling anything that even remotely resembles love, and it works to a certain degree.
Are we encouraging the masses to stay toxic and not develop the emotional capacity for any healthy relationships? Yes we are, courtesy of the editor, thanks.