Many years before 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic hit the world, an even worse syndrome stormed earth that made almost half its population to fool around every 14th February. It’s called the Valentine’s virus and is also viral in present day Nigeria.
However, there are a few people free from the Val’s Day bug. Members of these sects are sometimes referred to as “Single People” or simply “Single” and are made to feel left out or out-of-place for not being foolish like the rest of the world. If you are one of these single people, then this is for you.
Here is a list of things you can do on St. Valentine’s Day as a single person. The results of practicing number 4 is not our responsibility.
Every single pringle must learn to troll. It’s a necessary survival mechanism because these people in love will never want you to breathe. When they make a post on Instagram, go to the comment section and simply tag Burna Boy and Steff London.
2. Self Love Szn
Remember that you can only love yourself the way you want to be loved. So take yourself out, go on a spa date with you, sing Blaqbonez’s songs to you and get a pedicure.
3. They love you at home
If you get bored by spending time with yourself, remember that they did not pursue you from your daddy’s house. And even if they did, a prodigal child is always welcomed somehow sha. Just go home, abeg. Go and say “mummy I love you”.
4. Text your ex
Tell your ex that you miss them and you guys should see a movie on that evening. They’ll think you want to get back together. Not knowing that you will block them again right after the 14th. Terms and conditions apply, but just run it still.
5. Find love
You too, allow somebody’s child to love you. You think all this coconut head you are doing will take you anywhere? SMH. Better calm down and allow them to do the cringe love things to you. It will end in tears however, but still try.
Truth is that life would be really tough for you guys without DigiMillennials and our bad advice. You are welcome, but share our stuff everytime you see it. That’s how to say thank you.